Thursday, May 10, 2007

Collector Suggests Profitable Group Sex

I cannot make this stuff up. Yesterday, in a case against an extremely shady and slimy agency (I have them on tape committing many violations), I was conferring with a manager who gave me a fake name and copped the usual attitude that THEIR holy firm could NEVER have done ANYthing wrong. He also said he was going to turn in a 1099-C to IRS for the amount of the (nonexistent) debt (which according to one rep was an Aspire Visa, and another rep was a College Classic Visa), whereupon I indicated that this would be illegal, and did I mention that I happen to hold a master's in taxation, so don't try that again. Eventually, it became clear to him that I was not going away, and that not only would he never collect any money from us, he would furthermore be giving up money TO us for violating about a thousand debt collection laws.

So he said, "you'd make a lot more money if you got in bed with us."

eeeeewww.

Dear readers, who doth know me so well, I leave it to you to pick which one of the following entirely appropriate responses I actually said.

(a) I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
(b) It's very sweet of you to offer, but I'm waiting for marriage.
(c) I sleep quite well doing what I do already, thank you.
(d) Sorry, I already have numerous girlfriends, and I must stay faithful to all of them.

I think he got the message.

The call ended with my indication that there seemed to be nothing left to do but sue. He wished me good luck with the worthless default judgment I would get. As I was explaining how I collected the last default judgment from a collector--in full--after he wasted a few thousand bucks on a big stuffy law firm that never had any chance against ME--he hung up. Oh well, he'll find out all about it soon enough

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