I Sense A Disturbance In The Force ... Chancellor Palpatine, Please Call Your Office

Today's discussion with a bill collector whose firm committed about 55 violations of consumer protection law against my client went something like this:

Him: "I've seen your website. It's disgusting."

Me: "I guess we come at it from different points of view. So I guess if you were Anakin Skywalker, you'd be saying, 'From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!'"

Him: [puzzled] "Who's Anakin?"

[incredulous pause while I process this ... he can't possibly mean ... no, it's inconceivable ...]

Me: "You mean you have not seen Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith?"

Him: "Nope."

Me: "Then I suppose you would not recognize the allusion to one of the final scenes ... oh well, just a little attempt at humor ..."

This exchange answers some questions, such as how in the world do these people get to be the way they are? One way, we now know, is that they have not seen the right sort of movies. George Lucas' laughable dialogue and Marin County leftism aside, the Star Warses (that's the plural: one Star Wars, six Star Warses) are absolute must-see films for all good Americans. Perhaps our bill collector friend is enamored of, say, Boiler Room; some stockbrokers think this was a training film. Or more likely, Brokeback Mountain ... no, I didn't say that! read on ...

But it raises more questions than it answers. Can you be a Sith Apprentice and not know it? The guy was definitely from the Dark Side, which Yoda tells us is "easier, quicker, more seductive, far more profitable," and the Sith use the Force for attack, never for defense. Jedi are selfless; the Sith seek only more power for themselves. Sound familiar?

Then again, the guy was more like those obedient clones they grow on Kamino, in half the normal time. Well, since settlement talks were fruitless, we'll sue them and see if the reward will be, oh, "more wealth than YOU can imagine." "I dunno, I can imagine quite a bit."

And since I'm sure he's reading this blog: Dude, if you think my website is disgusting, just read this next case about the cops pulling dope out of this dealer's boody! ...